Ty Alcaraz for letting us watch some extra tennis <3

Dimitr!-oh....

Day 2 matches here, now I am going to go hide so Alcaraz cannot straight set me

ngl I’m still sort of expecting Nadal to show up and win

Daniel Alternativetimelinewherehebeatssinnermaier

Mirracles do happen

SWIATEK DOESN’T SEEM SO GOO.... nvm

Thiago Seyboth Whaaaaaaat

Swiatek season

We’re back! Really good stuff coming in the weeks ahead at Roland Garros. Can Djokovic shrug off an elbow injury that no one in tennis has ever found a cure for? Will Alcaraz replace Nadal? How does Casper Ruud keep making the finals? What vegetables does Rublev look like?

WTA will be up late tonight or early tomorrow (EST).

party’s almost over what a bummer

gogogo!

Yes, hello Dr I’d like a hamstring injury?

I missed the Linette Pliskova start time and I apologize.

Here are today’s matches. Tomorrow’s will be up before the end of the matches.

HELLO YES I’D LIKE MORE TENNIS?

IS THE MURRAY MATCH OVER YET?

Thank you Murray for letting me get 3 hours of sleep. Very considerate.

Posting these now and will edit in the remaining two matches tomorrow when I awaken

There were some rain and heat delays, so I split round 2 into two days. Here’s today (Tuesday) for the ATP & WTA.

GO MERTENS!

I’M IN AUSTRALIA!

Last chance to doubt Rune

Don’t look now but the ATP has depth

LETS GOOOOOOOO

Gilles Simon is the unstoppable force and the immovable object.

The Paris crowd is undefeated.

Action kicks off tonight

The beginning of an era.

Finals are here. Time to sleep til the Australian Open .

Oh. My. Glob. This is some good tennis.

Is this the best tennis tournament of all time? IDK MAN DON’T ASK ME SUCH SERIOUS QUESTIONS

Hola. Alcaraz match is still going so I’m posting this now. I’ll add the other matches tomorrow.

IT’S THE FOURTH ROUND. IF YOU LIKE FOURTH ROUNDS, YOU’RE IN LUCK.

ROUND THREE BABY LETS GOOOOOOOO

Hello would you like some tennis?

HELLO THANK YOU FOR READING THE TEASER CONSIDER YOURSELF TEASED PLEASE READ THE ARTICLE I’M SO LONELY

Tennis! With Swiatek seemingly unable to find a good rhythm with these lighter balls, this tournament is likely to produce a very competitive second week. I’m excited to see someone close the year out with a huge triumph, and juniors everywhere are excited that the Czech players are competing in the pro events instead. Below are the first round predictions.

Tennis! I headed over to the USO qualifying today, watched two points of Fruhvirtova Pacquet, and got drenched with rain. Tennis! Below are the men’s first round predictions. The ATP is starting to become so full of underachieving next genners that it actually possesses depth, and I have a feeling this is going to be a very memorable and high quality two weeks.

FINALLLLLLLLLLLS

PARTYS ALMOST OVER WHAT A BUMMER

Incredible tennis coming our way this week and Wimbledon finally is starting their matches later which means I might finally get some sleep.

Last day I’m splitting up the rounds. Got a bunch wrong today and it was interesting to see the court surface slow down a bit and the grinders start to notch some wins. Novak Nadal finals? Brand new title winner on the women’s side? Yes pls.

Wimbledon usually skips play on Sunday, but this collection of matches won’t have anyone complaining. Sunday’s matches are here and Monday’s will go up tomorrow before the end of play.

CHILL OUT NORRIE I JUST SAT DOWN!

COVID WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DARKNESS WHAT ARE YOU DOING? C’MON RAIN WE’RE TRYNA WIMBLEDON OVER HERE

RIP Our beautiful brackets <3

Hola. It’s getting really late and I’m only half done with the rest of the matches so I’m posting tomorrow’s matches first. I’ll post the rest of round 2 (day 4) tomorrow before the end of play.

This was probably one of the toughest lineups for a first round that I’ve seen since I started watching the WTA. Tons of players are playing well, and these particular matchups are all really tricky. This means the second round is going to feature a lot of players who’ve had to earn their way there, and we might get treated to some of the best grass-court tennis we’ve seen in a long time.

OH YES OH YES. It’s Wimbledon time. That means gentle peaceful grass, and professional athletes falling. The ATP writeup is below, and the WTA will be up later tonight (around midnight EST I’d guess). Don’t forget to hop in the Bracket Competitions and the Odds competitons, as they’re a ton of fun and I enjoy getting mopped up by all of you.

Party’s almost over what a bummer

The last two days of tennis have been so ridiculously good. Monumental performances and career changing stuff.

Tomorrow’s matches are below. Special nod to Chosengup1, Ares77, and janmatt for leading the Men’s, Women’s, and Odds comps!

The Medvedev Cilic match hasn’t started yet so I decided to post tomorrow’s matches first. I’ll post the following day’s matches tonight (~11pm EST).

Sorry for the late post, WTA matches are below

Getting to the second week at a major is a badge of courage, and so is not acclimating to a French sleep schedule and passing out during the Gaston match today. This post is a bit late and I apologize; WTA will be up in around an hour.

If you enjoy top seeds coming terrifyingly close to crashing out, you’re gonna love Roland Garros. The second round was almost as hectic as the WTA, and with the main storylines still to come in the second week this is shaping up to be the best tournament of the season so far.

The second round has been a roller coaster. So many upsets and comebacks down a set and a break and yet the tournament’s overall quality hasn’t suffered at all, only our brackets have.

First round is in the books and everyone’s brackets are collectively busted. Swiatek has completely and totally leveled up, and I haven’t seen a second round this competitive and close since I started watching the WTA.

The first round is in the books and after a relatively mundane first day the upsets and 5 setters arrived. All 3 favorites look great so far and are getting their first big test in this round, but so far the French crowd seems like the best player in the draw.

WTA Draw time. A few seasons ago people were lamenting the lack of depth on the women’s tour. Well, that problem is solved and the result of the constant duels to be the “new” Serena on tour are that a number of great players have announced themselves, and Barty’s exit has set the stage for Iga Swiatek to go on an amazing tear. She’s a -150 favorite to win the tournament (this is literally Nadal/Djokovic level odds) and it almost seems fair. I’m FRIGGIN HYPPPPPPPPED. 🐢

PS Don’t forget to join the bracket comps so I can lose to you all again : ) Tournament starts at 4am EST tonight.

ROLAND GARROS. This is really the first time that a tournament has set the stage for a perfect story, and I’m hoping we get one. Leading up to the draw, it was hard to really point a finger at anyone in the mix and say they didn’t have a chance to win. Things got a bit lopsided post-draw, and the top half is a monstrous undertaking for anyone who gets through, but that just makes it even better. This is the most exciting and competitive major in quite some time, and I’m hyped. The ATP writeup for round 1 is below, and the WTA will go up tomorrow. As usual, DC is hosting their bracket competitions. Links are below :

ATP Bracket Comp

WTA Bracket Comp

Roland Garros Odds Comp

ATP & WTA Finals :

Semifinals time, and also nap time. Just a reminder rain is scheduled for Melbourne over the next 2-3 days, so these matches might be played under the roof.

Really good matches in the fourth round and I definitely didn’t cry during Cornet’s post-match interview.

If you’re like me, your sleep schedule is already destroyed and you are half a zombie. Hang in there, when you finally hit the wall and crash, you’ll somehow sleep for 15 hours. Men’s and women’s round 4 matchups are below.

Update : All 3rd round matches have now been added below :

Tons of good matchups coming in the next round, and a lot of question marks to be answered in this one for some of the mid-level seeds. I’ll be putting the WTA up first next round to make up for this going up so late.

Little late today but hopefully I am forgiven. The WTA is about halfway done and should go up right before gametime.

This tournament is going to be really good. Tons of players in great form, and just as many struggling to get it together. Throw in a bunch of qualifiers who are extemely sharp and this should be a fun two weeks. If you’re interested, DC is hosting their usual bracket competitions. You can find them here :

SUPER DELICIOUS MEGA FUN BRACKET CONTESTS

I know. I know. You were all hoping for another Djokovic post. Not into it though. Turtles have very little use for drama, and mostly enjoy sitting on local logs, and chasing small fish. The ATP is starting to have a bunch of depth, so the next two weeks should have some really great matches. The warmup events have had some incredible quality play, so I’m pretty excited about this. As usual, kuklachert and the team at DegensClub set up their bracket (and other) competitions. You can enter them here : MENS BRACKET COMP - full signup details in the comments below

THIS IS THE FINALS! THE FINALS! I’M EXCITED!

Also if you’re in the bracket comp, please remember to make your final challenge pick https://degensclub.com/competitions/pick-the-draw-us-open-men/challenges/pick-the-draw-us-open-men-final-challenge

THERE IS NO TEASER! NO MORE TEASING! GIVE US THE FINALS! WE WANT THE FINALS! Also don’t forget to make your pick for the final challenge in the WTA bracket contest.

https://degensclub.com/competitions/pick-the-draw-us-open-women/challenges/pick-the-draw-us-open-women-final-challenge

Same as the women’s draw, the men have wound up with the best 4 players left playing in the semifinals. This is going to be good. Almost as good as the wine the Tennis Channel announcers are drinking. Speaking of good, the bracket comps have a number of really good brackets going, with UofLForTheWin leading the men’s and Juja13 leading the women’s. Businessman looks to have the odds comp locked up, with an ROI of 97% which is, literally, absurd. Also, there are two incredible tennis matches tomorrow, so here are some thoughts.

Semifinals are here and despite these not being the names we may have expected, these matchups could not be more exciting. It’s a rare occurrence, but the 4 players left in each draw are the 4 players who’ve been playing the best in the event.

Getting down to the business end of things at the USO. Sakkari and Andreescu are going the distance, so I’m posting this now. I’ll update it in the morning once a winner is decided. Ladies first tonight.

ATP & WTA matches are in one post tonight. Shoutout Jinkomhub and Juja13 who are leading the ATP and WTA bracket comps so far. Special nod to Businessman, who leads the odds comp.

Some reallllllllly tense matches on the WTA including Anisimova almost pulling off a huge upset. Apologies for getting this up so late. As the matches start to become a bit less “all 14 matches at the same time” I’ll be able to write while I watch. There are too many good players on the WTA right now and this is about to be the best major that the WTA has had in a long time.

Some of these matches are taking years off my life! Luckily turtles live forever. Or so I’m guessing? Anyway, here are 15 tennis matches. Brooksby match will be added tomorrow, and the WTA will go up in about an hour or so.

THE FIRST ROUND WAS SO FLIPPIN GOOD! Unfortunately round two might be some rain delays, but with the number of blowouts projected the tournament may stay on schedule anyway.

First round impression from the US Open are that the courts are playing really fast. Big hitters are thriving, and the hot and humid conditions are making a lot of matches go the distance. Personal impressions are that watching 16 tennis matches at once is not ideal, so I may consider becoming a spider.

Really interesting draw on the WTA side, and the tournament (despite Barty seeming to be a frontrunner) is as wide-open as a major has ever been. It’s still not too late to hop in our bracket contests for the US Open, so check them out in the Competitions section.

Tennisssssssssss. The US Open is here and there is a ton of wonderful drama and mischief and even some Gulbis. I apologize for missing Wimbledon I was moving/doing some monk shit but I’m back connected to the internets now : ). The WTA will go up tomorrow afternoon and as usual, come check out the bracket contests DC hosts and come try to beat me in the odds competiton (j/k pls let me win 🐢)

ATP Bracket Contest WTA Bracket Contest Odds Comp

WTA time! After a ridiculous Roland Garros I’m almost craving another roller coaster draw. Unfortunately, as I said in the ATP post I’m moving/competing in some events over the next week or so and won’t be able to really do justice to the writeups so I’m only doing round one. Feel free to not really notice my absence, and check out the bracket comps that DC is hosting :

Registration is still open for the Wimbledon ATP and WTA bracket challenges!

Good morning. The bad news is I am going to be moving this week /competing in some events and am unlikely to catch enough tennis to really do a good job with the writeups. As a result, I’ll be a bit MIA for a week so I’m only covering the first round and then will likely be back for the hardcourt swing in the US. An incomplete product sucks, so I apologize, but also I am a turtle and have no concept of responsibility. The WTA 1st round will be up in a few hours, and DC has graciously continued hosting bracket competitions and odds competitions so check out the shtuff at the links below.

Registration is still open for the Wimbledon ATP and WTA bracket challenges!

Finals time and if you wanted 8 hours of the best 4 players in the event going head to head, you got it. Thanks for reading and I’ll be back for Wimbledon. For those of you who joined our bracket contests, thank you! Winners will be posted once the tournament concludes : ) It was a lot of fun and we’ve decided to keep doing them. The link to join next week’s grass events is below :

Join the bracket challenge for the upcoming ATP tournaments in Halle and Queen’s Club!

I googled Krejčíková’s name to make sure her first name didn’t have an H since I’ve been calling her Barbora, and I realized I’ve been leaving all kinds of accent marks off of her name throughout this tournament. If you make a finals, you at least deserve to have your name spelled properly, so this writeup will feature all kinds of accent marks. Or maybe just hers since I copy/pasted it from google. Anyway, this tournament has made me think I can’t predict what day of the week will even come next. What a great event, and we’re left with two tremendous players whose career is made whether they win or lose.

Unreal quality in the quarterfinals this week, capped off by some very strange night matches. Nadal, Djokovic, Tsitsipas, Krejcikova, Pavlyuchenkova, Zidansek, and Sakkari are all playing their absolute best heading into the semis. Zverev is there too. In the bracket contest, 230DentistAppt looks to have it locked up on the WTA side, and they led from start to finish so it’s well deserved. Canuck96 has taken the lead in the ATP, with DC founder kuklachert, vani, mrcod64, and happysandbag hot on his trail.

Some great and surprising matches in this round of 16. 230DentistAppt continues to lead the WTA bracket challenge, and tomtennis has just passed d1ngal1ng for the first time in the ATP challenge.

Round of 16 matches are here. I’m getting this one up a bit early so Federer and Berretini’s match (if it happens) will be added a bit later today. The wild ride continues and as we get down to the later rounds I’m happy to get to watch more of each match, even if the tournament seems intent on scheduling them all at the same time. One thing’s for sure though, no matter how many matches they schedule at once, it will never be enough for Tennis Channel to run out of bad announcers.

This has been a wonderland of nonsense. Even watching I’ve had a hard time believing some of these results, so for those waking up and scorechecking I imagine there have been some double-takes. We’re only 1/3 of the way through the event, and already office pools and brackets everywhere are in shambles. d1ngal1ng leads the ATP bracket contest, and vani leads the WTA. As the results have been the epitome of wild so far, I’ve decided both are wizards. It feels like the only option. Anyway, the crazy results have me a bit flustered, but it’s a good time to remind myself that my knowledge of the tour is still very limited, and the setbacks are a good chance to learn little lessons. Lessons like, always match your eyebrows to your hair color. Wait no that one wasn’t for me. Anyway, here are more predictions that I look forward to glaring at tomorrow if they don’t come true.

From upsets on the men’s side to strange withdrawals on the women’s side, this Roland Garros is already very confusing and it’s only the first round. If you’re looking for someone to blame, the bracket contest leaders are currently 230DentistAppt (nice of him to use our contest as a calendar also), Honeybadger, vani, Charlie02123, Chi. They knew this was coming, so blame them <3

A series of wild upsets in round one have the men’s draw looking more exciting than ever. If you saw it coming, you’re smarter than me. Thanks to those of you who are playing in our bracket competition. A lot of really good picks there, and it looks like leaders d1ngal1ng, Eva, Ryan 3339, the_muro97, and Happysandbag have avoided the upsets the best so far.

Oh yes oh yes. WTA Singles Writeup below, also :

Hurry up to join the Pick The Draw competitions for Roland Garros men’s and women’s tournaments! Registration closes Monday, 11:00 am CET

Roland Garros time! Below are the first round predictions for the ATP. The WTA matches will be up later tonight. A side note, DC has taken the time to set up bracket comps for the men’s and women’s draws at Roland Garros. If it goes well, we’ll be running these for all the major events so feel free to join. The normal picking competition is being run as well, so good luck and hopefully this is a great event!

Hurry up to join the Pick The Draw competitions for Roland Garros men’s and women’s tournaments! Registration closes Monday, 11:00 am CET

Two near-perfect performances in the semifinals were a fine complement to Sabalenka’s heroic win in the WTA finals. After winning the first 6-0, Sabalenka seemed to run out of steam in the second. Errors started to come, and she devolved into “must make it” mode which led to her scrambling for some nice gets, but mostly played into Barty’s hands as her depth disappeared immediately with the mindset change. Down 3-4 0-30, Sabalenka not only held but basically didn’t miss another shot. For Sabalenka to reach the “run out of offense/starting to make errors and force shots” point after an early dominance and still find quality again is a huge step. So many players fizzle out at that point. Barty threw in one subpar serving game at 4-4 and that was all it took. These two could not be playing better going into Rome, and both are frontrunners for Rolan Garros.

Semifinals time in Madrid, after another in a series of wild results bounces Rafael Nadal out of the tournament. I look forward to all the new “we are in Rome” memes. Hard to call anyone a clear favorite at this point, but here are some thoughts.

Things are getting late in Madrid, with the WTA finals featuring the two players on tour who are really in the best form. The men are into the quarterfinals, and there are some unexpected names there which is great for the tour and should see more unsung heros competing harder in Rome.

Semifinals time for the WTA and 3rd round action for the ATP. Medvedev gave us exactly what we didn’t know we wanted, and Paire Paire’d. Also how is Nadal so good? I can watch him 1,000 times and always come away surprised at how good he is. Is this writeup equally good? No. It isn’t possible. He’s so good.

Madrid! Fun fact : Madrid once was the home of over 4,000 different species of dragon. Don’t believe me? Good call. ATP 2nd round matches and WTA quarterfinal writeups are below.

For some reason Madrid is having a select few round two matches tomorrow, so this is a very short article. The full round 2 ATP will go up tomorrow night once all the matchups are set.

WTA round three writeup is below. I’ve included the men’s 1st round matches at the bottom also for the qualifiers who got their assignments today. Tons of good tennis on the board for tomorrow and if you missed today’s matches, Marton Fucsovics hit a trickshot that I had to replay 4 times to figure out.

Men’s draw is starting tomorrow before the qualifiers have ended, so I’ve done the round 1 writeups minus those matches. Once the qualifiers are done and set in the draw, I’ll edit them into the post and post them in the comment section also. <3 Looking forward to a fun event and plus the return of Thiem!

Good first round with some wild results and a ton of second set implosions. I have also been informed that Earth has only one moon, which is nice to know, and thank you moon for doing the work of many moons all by yourself <3. Here is the second round WTA writeup.

It’s time for the Madrid Open Tennis Tournament. If you’re unfamiliar with tennis, it’s a game where you thwack the ball back and forth and, if you’re a pro, make varying amounts of noise on your opponent’s shot. If you’re unfamiliar with Madrid, it is a beautiful city in Spain, which is a country in Europe, which is a continent on Earth which is a planet somewhere near some moons. If you still want to know more, sorry that is all I know. Madrid has elected to start the women’s draw early. If you’re wondering why, me too. I’m still excited for a great event though, so here’s the writeup. As usual, DegensClub is running their picking competitions for the Madrid Open, so feel free to join or hangout with us in the chat.

Finals time in Miami so for once I can include the same ATP/WTA round in one post. If you’ve been readin, thanks for reading! 9 out of 10 cartoon owls have positive opinions about reading, and if ya can’t trust cartoon owls, we got biiiiiiiiiiig problems. Somewhere Rublev is squinting at the air, suspicious that it will become wind, but the WTA finals is probably the best one we could hope for. I’m workin on some other projects for the next week or so, but I’ll probably be back for one of the clay Masters events and for sure Rolan Garros.

The Sakkari Andreescu match was probably the best match of the year, but turtles cannot stay up so late, and I fell asleep before I could finish this writeup. Here are the men’s semifinal writeups, and the men’s and women’s finals will go up tonight after the matches have concluded.

Women’s semis are tomorrow so here’s some things I thinked.

It seems like Miami is determined to keep their scheduling all wobbly, so here are all the men’s quarterfinals, and the two remaining quarterfinals for the women.

Things are getting spicy in Miami. The fans are starting to get wild, players are hitting emotional and physical walls in their matches, and Medvedev has retreated to his hotel bathroom to debate shaving his moustache. Some non-tennis news that I am excited about is the completion of the private competition feature on the Degensclub site. We’re still running weekly picking competitions, but now you can create your own private competitons to compete against your friends/coworkers/sworn enemy tortoises that live across town and call you Soggy McPondington. You can choose which leagues to include (just tennis and the major soccer leagues right now, but NFL and NBA odds are coming), what rules the comp will follow, and what the duration of the comp is. It’s a pretty cool feature and the developers are working hard on it to provide more features/options so that we all can have the fun of predicting ze future without losing money doing it. Check it out!

Create your own tipping competitions on DegensClub and invite your buddies to play with you!

Some great matches on the WTA side with some very close finishes. Also, I fed a squirrel a pear and it seemed pretty happy about that.

A bit of sky-water (or rain as the Americans call it) has fallen and suspended matches, so a few are missing from this. There were a lot of wild results but we can always rely on Karatsev to win every single match forever and ever amen.

This third round is going to be way more fun to watch than it is to predict. Simply put, the WTA has never been better. Everyone left in the draw is playing great, or is a major champion. I expect a lot of 3 setters and also to completely eat it on some predictions.

Yes we’ve have a first round, but what about a second roooooound.

Women’s round two matches are allegedly all scheduled for tomorrow so I’ll be posting the WTA tonight and the ATP rd 2 tomorrow. Pretty good tennis so far, with some complete implosions, some attempted implosions, and some pretty entertaining night matches. ATP round two will go up tomorrow night 🐢

When you think Miami spring break, you think Daniil Medvedev. The handsome beachgoer can often be seen enjoying such activites as chess, scowling, shrugging, and snoozing in hair-curlers. As the #1 seed in this event, and with Fed/Djoko/Nadal sitting it out, this is a great chance for him to continue to rack up points and solidify his #2 ranking. But can the partyboy put his wild jazzy ways behind him to win the title? Idk. Maybe? Anyway, I’ll be writing up all the Miami matches for the ATP/WTA. As usual, the tennis picking competition is being run by kuklachert. Feel free to check it out : ) Free to join, and some small cash prizes to the winners.

Miami. Privileged idiots wasting their best years. Rampant coronavirus spread. Tanned instagram influencer wannabe’s as far as the eye can see. Braincells optional. Is it spring break? Or is it the ATP? The tour has been a puzzle the past few weeks, but an extremely entertaining one. Even with a few notable withdrawals from Djokovic and Nadal, this should be an interesting event. Jokes aside, running a professional tennis tournament during a quarantine in the city that is also hosting spring break is a bad decision, and I’m crossing my fingers that the tour makes it through this week without any major issues. The women’s matches are starting before the qualifiers are completed, so these are the ones slated for tomorrow. The full slate of ATP & WTA matches will be up late Tuesday night (EST) once all qualifier matches are completed. As usual, kuklachert is running the picking contest (free to enter and some small cash prizes) and we’ve been having some wild finishes the past few weeks. Feel free to join, or to silently judge me for shameless plugs : ) Both are good uses of the ‘ol tiempo.

This has been a great return to tennis for the tour. The shtories and wild results were present, but not to the detriment of the quality of play. I don’t really know what to say here. I’m excited to go back to sleeping on a normal schedule, but sad that it’s over. Thanks to all that joined the picking competition for this event. The site has decided to do these regularly and signups are open for the next one now. Free to join of course and some bucks are available to be won.

Join Tennis Weekly #1 - our next free competition covering the next week’s ATP and WTA tournaments - and win real-money prizes!!

Semifinals are here, with a slightly odd schedule of 3 matches today and 1 tomorrow. A ton of strange injuries and comeback have populated the quarterfinals, which is both disappointing and wild. In the interest of the serious ramifications today I’ve gotten real serious. Real serious! No jokes! No jaguar stories! No references to whose brain or body is secretly vegetables!

TENNNISSSSSSSSSS. Some great quarterfinals here and some really inspiring stories popping up. I’ve been lucky enough to have a blog created so I can post full articles (reddit’s character limit usually shortens my posts and makes me split them). I’ll be posting tennis all my tennis articles there for the near future 🐢. As a thank you, they’ve opened their picking competition for one last day. Sneak in late for a chance at some cash prizes, and if you have any suggestions for the blog/contest feel free to offer them.